Your Existence
by Takeru1996
Summary: Doumeki didn't fear a lot of things but one sentance from Watanuki could stop him in his tracks. Just a little drabble I did at 2am It can be read as friendship!DouWata or relationship!DouWata


DISCLAIMER: If I really owned this, would I be on fanfiction writing about it?... Probably ┐('～`;)┌ I don't own any of the characters, nor the actual story either. I'm just spouting out some DouWata feels that I couldn't keep in my head even if I'm not a good writer.

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Doumeki was afraid. It wasn't because of a malevolent spirit or the threat of injury. He had experienced such things many times before this point and none had scared him like this. No, this fear came from a single sentance utter from Watanuki's mouth.  
"I have to be here."  
The "but" that was supposed to follow that made his instincts scream out that something was wrong. His instincts had always been right; had always guided him to where he needed to be. Now they screamed out that the now heterochromatic boy before him would disappear. Like the wisps of smoke from Yuuko's pipe, he would cease to exist and the world would continue on without the slightest care. Yet to Doumeki, Watanuki's existance had always been that way, as if one day he would wake up and Watanuki would never appear with food in his hand and a scowl on his face. Even before Doumeki had become used to Watnuki's presence in his life, his instincts felt this. It made Doumeki reluctant to get close, to begin to care, and yet he could not resist being near Watanuki.  
Now that Doumeki had spent time with him and began to understand him, Watanuki's existance was necessary to him. Admittedly he could survive if Watanuki was no longer around, but to live would be a whole different thing. Watanuki gave his life a meaning, even if it was dangerous, and allowed Doumeki to experience so many spectacular things. Watanuki's cooking skills were really just an unexpected bonus to their unusual relationship. Lately, however, Watanuki seemed to be more flighty then he was previously. For everybody that knew him, the seer had always been an existence stuck between two worlds, but now it seemed as though he was drifting towards a place Doumeki could not follow him to. Watanuki no longer reacted to Doumeki's attempts at riling him up with his usual out bursts accompanied by his unique flailing. He now spoke like he would not exist the next second and he looked like it too. The silent pauses after Watanuki would speak and the gentle expressions on his face were too much like the time he had been ill and dying due that lonely spirit. It made Doumeki worried even more once he realized that Watanuki was sleeping so much. It was unusual even for Watanuki, whose life revolved around all things that defied what was considered normal by society, to sleep so much and so often without even realizing he had fallen asleep. To the young archer, the seer seemed as if he was just a dream that was slowly, unceasingly becoming unraveled no matter how much Doumeki tried to prevent it.  
"Somehow, I've come to have a different feeling."  
Ah, here it was. The "but" he truthfully didn't want to hear, yet always expected would come to be spoken. To Doumeki, Watanuki had to exist. Even if it wasn't by his side, Doumeki wanted Watanuki alive and well. He didn't want to hear Watanuki say that he didn't want to be here, that he didn't want to exist. Doumeki didn't want to have to admit that he knew every near-death situation Watanuki had been through since his parents' death was because in his heart Watanuki really believed that he shouldn't be here. Of course Doumeki subconciously, instinctually, knew this, but that didn't mean he wanted to acknowlege it. Even so, he couldn't stop himself from asking:

"Different how?"

The resulting frown that quickly changed to that infuriating smile that had become increasingly frequent lately made Doumeki's stomache clench up in horrified anticipation for Watanuki's answer. Surely it would be what Doumeki had always feared and Kimihiro would disappear in front of Doumeki's eyes like the many spirits Doumeki had exorcized in the past. He was not Watanuki anymore, couldn't be just Watnuki anymore, because Doumeki cared about this strange teen too much for him to just be a last name now that it seemed Kimihiro would not be around for much longer. So when Kimihiro said that he wanted to be here, Doumeki's mind froze.  
Doumeki couldn't believe what he was hearing. How was it possible that Kimihiro, who had always only been a selfless person, could say something like this. It was so very startling and yet Doumeki felt so relieved to hear it. Doumeki's body began to unwind from the tension that had undoubtably been building in him since the day he had found Kimihiro asleep on the ground for seemingly no reason what-so-ever and he relaxed his grip on the items he had been carrying. Doumeki was suprised he hadn't broken the skin beneath his nails with how hard his hand had been clenched around his school bag. Realizing he had been silent too long and Kimihiro had become anxious, Doumeki now only had to make sure that Watanuki would not revert back to his past beliefs and then he could truely relax. Once that was confirmed he could truely believe that Kimihiro wouldn't fade away, even if Kimihiro would always continue to be an existence that existed between two worlds. So when Kimihiro answered with a positive result, he did what he had always done in these kinds of situations and continued moving forward, none of his previous thoughts having ever really appeared on his face. Just as Kimihiro had always been so flighty, Doumeki had always been a steady existance for Kimihiro and that was how he was going to stay. He wanted to be the anchoring point for Watanuki to return to when he came back from wherever his mind, and occasionally his body as well, will wander off to, and if not allowing his worries to show was necessary for that, Doumeki considered it a small price to pay. So he continued on, starting their usual bickering that Watanuki thankfully was more than willing to continue and for that short time in his, their, turbulant lives all was right again, even if it was just for a little while.

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Author's note: Sorry for any spelling mistakes or inconsistencies. I didn't beta it that well and there's only so many of your own mistakes you can catch yourself. It's just a small drabble tha popped into my head at 2 AM in the morning (I hate my imagination for being so inconvenient sometimes) and unfortunately probably won't have any continuations due to the fact I normally can't write to save my life. This is only because I haven't drawn anything lately and my creative juices are over flowing and giving me a headache. If you like it or wanna give me a friendly critique or just wanna give me a cheerful message to make my day then feel free to drop a review. I will definately read any if I get them, though flames will be given to Mugetsu to be eaten (*´ー｀*) If you get that then I will love you even more than I already do for reading my pathetic drabble.


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